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Another week in Ohio sports, where the Reds can’t be swept, the Browns can’t stay quiet, and the WNBA players might soon be sending money to the NBA instead of the other way around. Let’s break it all down.
Cincinnati Reds: Still Deathly Afraid of Brooms
The Reds dropped three in a row to the Nationals and were staring down the barrel of a four-game sweep — until Nick Lodolo took the mound and said, “Nah.” The lefty threw a complete-game gem and saved Cincinnati from the embarrassment of being broomed out of D.C.
That extended their weirdly impressive streak of 33 straight series without being swept, which leads the league and feels like a statistic made up by a dad trying to cheer up a little leaguer. Still, at 53–50, the Reds remain in the hunt and, more importantly, in denial about being mediocre.
Guardians: Out of the Basement, Into the Meh
Over in Cleveland, the Guardians remembered how to play baseball again. After a brutal 10-game skid in early July, they’ve now won 10 of their last 12 and climbed back to .500.
José Ramírez has been on a heater since the All-Star break — skipping the game may have been the smartest decision he’s made all year. His seventh homer in that stretch helped Cleveland notch their 50th win, which is exactly as many as they have losses. For once, Guardians fans don’t have to say “it’s early” in late July.
Ohio Soccer: Crew Cooks, FCC Cruises
In Columbus, new signing Lassi Lappalainen made a grand entrance, scoring the game-winner in a 2–1 victory over D.C. United. The Crew are now unbeaten in six of their last seven, and the vibes are high. Their other new face, Dániel Gazdag, also scored — proving that sometimes chemistry doesn’t need time, just results.
Down in Cincinnati (yes, down I-71), FC Cincinnati is sitting on top of the MLS standings thanks to Brazilian phenom Evander, who has apparently mistaken MLS for a pickup league. He’s racking up goals and assists like he’s farming XP, and the rest of the team is happy to get out of his way. Cincinnati has a real shot at the Supporters’ Shield, and possibly more — assuming Evander doesn’t realize he could be doing this in Italy for 10x the money.
Browns Camp: Helmet Hype, Quarterback Chaos, and One Bad Headline
The Browns showed up to camp this week with new “Alpha Dawg” helmets and a QB situation so chaotic it feels like an open mic night. With Deshaun Watson re-rupturing his Achilles in the offseason and presumably spending 2025 off the field (which, let’s be honest, no one’s mourning), the QB room is down to:
- Joe Flacco, whose late year winning streak 2 years ago was impressive, but let’s not pretend he’s turning 2025 into a renaissance tour.
- Kenny Pickett, who Pittsburgh gave up on like a bad Tinder date
- Dylan Gabriel, a rookie with solid mechanics and a release quick enough to buy him time behind Cleveland’s offensive line
- Shedeur Sanders, who may have the highest ceiling, but also the most eyeballs on him
Coach Kevin Stefanski says it’s an “open competition,” which feels more like a public cry for help.
And that’s not even the worst story out of Berea. Second-round pick Quinshon Judkins, the bruising back out of Ohio State, was arrested this week on domestic violence charges. He hasn’t signed his rookie deal yet, and there’s no word on whether the team will stand by him, move on, or pretend they never drafted him to begin with.
On the bright side, those new helmets are really shiny. Sponsored by DUDE Wipes, because of course they are. If that doesn’t summarize Browns football in 2025, nothing does.
Buckeyes Not “Defending” Anything
At Big Ten Media Days, Ryan Day made one thing clear: Ohio State isn’t “defending” a national title — they’re attacking a new one. Which is a bold mindset for a team that’s lost to Michigan four years in a row.
The Buckeyes enter 2025 with a stacked roster, a hunger to fix that Michigan problem, and a head coach who’s apparently banned championship signs from the locker room to avoid complacency. No banners. No gloating. Just tunnel vision.
Ohio State opens the season against Texas, and if they don’t beat them, expect Day’s "attack mindset" to turn into a full-blown existential crisis.
WNBA Protest: “Pay Us What You Owe Us” – But Wait...
At the WNBA All-Star Game, every player warmed up in matching shirts that read: “Pay Us What You Owe Us.” It was a protest against the league’s current pay structure and an attempt to apply public pressure ahead of CBA negotiations.
Some public figures, including the founder of Barstool Dave Portnoy, offered some support.
Others? Not so much.
Turns out, the WNBA has never turned a profit. The league has been subsidized by the NBA since it launched, and many fans pointed out the obvious: if players are asking to be “paid what they’re owed,” and the books are still deep in the red... doesn’t that mean they all owe money?
By that logic, the shirts should’ve read: “We’ll Venmo You Later.”
Jokes aside, the message got attention. But it also sparked plenty of ridicule, indifference, and eye-rolls. Even some fans who support equal pay were like, “Maybe pick a better slogan next time.”
That’s a Wrap
Between protest tees, busted knees, and fourth-string QBs getting first-team reps, it’s been another predictably chaotic week in Ohio sports. We’ve got a soccer team chasing trophies, a baseball team clinging to a stat nobody else cares about, and a football team holding open auditions like it’s America’s Next Top Quarterback.
Check back next week to see which rookie signs, which vet holds out, and whether the Guardians can finally break their toxic relationship with .500.
Until then, stay safe, stay hydrated, and if you're asking for what you're owed... make sure the math works first.
